It’s been forever since I’ve written. At some point I would like to write about what has transpired this school year but for now I’ll start with where I’m currently at.
It’s been a childhood dream of mine to play the piano. Coming from larger family piano lessons wasn’t something that my parents could afford growing up. I’ve had a couple of prophetic words about playing the piano and it’s still been in my heart to learn how to play. I came across someone that I knew that was willing to teach me piano lesson and it only cost $10. Even on my fixed income I could afford that but I felt like the Holy Spirit wanted me to ask my parent if they’d pay for my lessons. My parents were both on board and when I asked my dad, he shared that he had felt guilty that they weren't able to get me piano lessons growing up. There’s something significant about me asking them and them paying for it that I don’t fully understand but my spirit does. There’s an element of asking that has provided emotional healing to both me and my parents.
I’ve been taking piano lessons for the past month. I have been blessed with one of the most amazing teachers. Her name is Amy Benoit. She’s such an encourager She reminds me of a momma that just pours out praise on a baby as they’re taking their stepping out and taking their first steps. This element has been extremely helpful as I've stepped out in trying something new!
In our last lesson Amy was instructing me to keep playing when I make a mistake instead of correcting myself before continuing. I replied, that’s a life lesson for me! Yesterday after school I was practicing playing Dove’s Eyes by Misty Edwards. It'a a beautiful song, if you want to listen to it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Spg78FF5rzg I was singing while playing and felt a shift as I was playing. There was such a strong presence of the Lord that I didn’t care that I made a mistake. I continued playing and it sounded so beautiful. There was such a grace present to make mistakes and not worry about what it sounded like but to enjoy the sound that came from my heart as I sang to the Lord. I began weeping as I was singing and thought to myself, this does not sound pretty (singing and crying) and then I heard another voice that said this sounds so beautiful, a heart cry that is pure and innocent. I felt the Lord’s pleasure and delight over me as I played and messed up, sang and cried. I was able to see beauty in the process.
I sense that there’s a grace that was released to make mistakes and continue and not worry about it, that’s going to pour out on to other areas of my life. I’m really excited about this as I was someone who would want to get all my ducks in a row before stepping into something. It gives me the freedom to release myself to be in process and not concern myself with making mistakes. My heart is pure and God is bigger that any mistake that I can make.
